


i’m scared, i’m afraid

by sparklingmini



Category: AB6IX (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 09:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20387218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklingmini/pseuds/sparklingmini
Summary: it’s been five years. a fight was bound to happen. he knew it was coming.donghyun doesn’t take it well anyway.





	i’m scared, i’m afraid

**Author's Note:**

> welcome. this was born from me and my friend’s fight that we had. all of this has things that had actually happened to me, so, it’s something close to me. 
> 
> title taken from _지마 (x1-ma) - produce x 101

he and youngmin fought. it’s their first bad fight in all of their five years of friendship. donghyun has fucked it up.

  
—

  
youngmin has started to ignore donghyun. donghyun has no idea why. he doesn’t know what he’s done. all he knows is he’s fucked up their friendship.

  
—

  
daehwi tells him things that youngmin has said. donghyun doesn’t believe him.

“he’s just being petty donghyun, don’t worry about it.”

but all donghyun is good at is worrying.

  
—

  
with assessments coming up and one of his friends going through a breakup with someone, things are going to shit for donghyun.

he listens in to his friends’ conversation.

“yeah, he threatened to kill himself if you wouldn’t get back with him.”

that whole relationship was toxic — his friend only getting out of it a month before, but his ex just keeps coming back with these things. daehwi and woong are trying to handle it, but it’s all too much for all of them.

  
—

  
he’s constantly studying these days. he doesn’t have much time to think about his fight with youngmin. but when he sees him with daehwi, everything comes back.

‘is daewhi even on my side?’ tears prickle in his eyes. _no ones on your side donghyun._ he agrees with his thoughts.

  
—

  
donghyun looks at his wrists more. nice, pale arms. ready to cut. _c’mon donghyun, it’s winter now... no one would think about it if you cut yourself._

donghyun tries not to think about it. maybe in the holidays. he’ll have a perfect excuse then.

  
—

  
donghyun cant do this anymore.

he texts youngmin, telling him the shit he’s going through, that maybe it’s time to end this friendship. youngmin says he doesn’t care either way.

it hurts donghyun, it really does. but he acts tough. for everyone’s sake.

  
—

  
assessments are over and it’s time for the holidays. he doesn’t think about it much, he’s finally gotten the dvd of a movie he really enjoyed and he’s been watching it more than once everyday.

it’s not until the second week of the holidays he starts thinking about it. he has to go back to school the next week. he’ll have to see youngmin again.

donghyun looks at his arms. maybe he should go for it. no regrets.

  
—

  
the first time he cuts, it’s three days untill school returns.

he’s sitting on his bathroom floor, pocket knife in hand, that he’s managed to pick up from the store. they really need to do something about making them less accessible.

he nervous, he’s shaking. maybe this was a bad idea after all.

_you’ve come all this way donghyun, don’t be a pussy and do it. _

he breaths in and out. in and out.

he slides the pocket knife over his wrists. he cries as he bleeds.

everything hurts. he cuts more.

**Author's Note:**

> the movie that i had referenced in there was actually doctor strange. i was (and still am), absolutely addicted to it. if you haven’t seen it, i highly recommend it.


End file.
